Designing spaces for meaning-making and belonging in our lives: fourth spaces

The average American life doesn’t create space for meaning-making.

Many people I see are either working, hustling after work, or hanging out with friends with light conversation. These are really important things, but it’s a little different from taking time to make sense of what’s going on in your life or in the world.

Collective meaning-making is reflective, creates a sense of belonging and actively creates your identity in relation to others.

Having strong social relationships and a cohesive understanding of who you are/what you do is the mega unlock combo for a fulfilled and meaningful life, but our society isn't always structured to build this sort of deep understanding.

As a result, the ability to create your own space (digital or physical) to pursue meaning-making is critical.

These spaces typically include other people and a social agreement to explore deeper concepts like creativity, ikigai (your reason for being), career decisions, parenting, or whatever else is important to you.

Coining Patricia Mou's terminology, this space is called a fourth space.

A bit of context: the social sciences often label the “first space” as the home, the “second space” as work, and the “third space” as public spaces (e.g. a bar, library, or church where people regularly congregate).

A fourth space exists for private communities centered around meaning-making.

Rather than being a one-off yoga class, it's a regularly scheduled event that facilitates discussion.

Rather than being a quick light comment about the challenges of everyday life, it's an invitation to go a little deeper and connect with others on those shared experience.

It doesn’t always have to be super deep and serious convo, but there’s space for it if it arises.

One thing for you to think about:

The average person is a lonely human DOING rather than a human BEING.

How do you become a human being? You create space to regularly explore your why before your how.

Practice becoming you.

Three things to ask yourself:

1. Where is your fourth space?

2. What are some small steps you could take to create a fourth space or enhance the one you already have?

Tip: to create a fourth space, think of activities that give you energy.

One thing to try this week:

Look for examples of fourth spaces that you would love to be a part of.

Is it a book club with your close friends? A Netflix watch party where you talk about the themes/lessons afterwards? Or inviting friends over for an quiet dinner?

Focus on the first step to become a human being.